“What will everyone think?” is a question often asked before things are said and/or done. Being “accepted” and/or gaining “approval” ends up as the benchmark from which both self-worth as well as success is often determined. When Paul writes to the Christians in Rome and deals with the topic of approval, he writes more from the perspective of how our actions affect the beliefs of others rather than a concern for what they may think. “Approval” and “acceptance” is a two-way street. Just as a life lived in dedication, devotion, and obedience to God is not predicated upon what others believe about us – so equal care must be taken in making judgment decisions about others.
But why do you judge your brother? Or why do you show contempt for your
brother? For we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ. … Therefore
let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling
block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way. …if your brother is grieved because of
your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one
for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. (Romans 14:10, 13, 15-18).
Jesus “also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps” (I Pet. 2:21). How did Jesus view the pursuit of approval and recognition from those among whom He lived? He treated the outcasts of Jewish society different than the religious leaders of His day. He viewed and accepted them as individuals with value rather than people to avoid. From the time of the awareness of His disciples as to who Jesus truly was (Matt. 16:13-20), He told them “that He must go to Jerusalem, and suffer many things from the elders and chief priests and scribes, and be killed and be raised again the third day” (Matt. 16:21). Luke adds to this that Jesus must “be rejected” by His generation (Luke 17:25). The principles of truth He proclaimed as well as His lack of concern for how Jewish leadership would feel about His actions or teaching marked Him as a target. His concern, as should be ours, was one of pleasing His Father in thought, word, and action.
When all is said and done, how does one refrain from an undue emphasis on “approval ratings” on one hand and not succumb to callousness toward the emotions, concerns, and feelings of people on the other? The answer to that question lies in how carefully we study the life and teachings of Jesus and how hard we word to follow in His steps. His actions were not only diametrically opposed to the mindset of the religious elite of His day, but also challenged what, through the passing of time, had also been accepted by the “common” people. Over time, they had been taught to accept what became a stereotypical description of ‘their place’ in society. However, Jesus reached out to them as people of significance rather than just ‘unlearned masses’. Therefore, while His approval rating was highly negative among the scribes, Sadducees, and Pharisees – “the common people heard Him gladly” (Mark 12:37).
After describing various gifts of service to the Christians in Rome (Rom. 12:6-13), Paul wrote of the need to:
Be of the same mind toward one another. Do not set your mind on high things,
but associate with the humble. Do not be wise in our own opinion. Repay no
one evil for evil. Have regard for good things in the sight of all men. If it is
possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Rom. 12:16-18)
…as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, even so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who tests our hearts. (I Thess. 2:4).
Doing the right thing is, and always will be, more appropriate than doing something just for the sake of being approved and/or accepted by those around us. After all, approval for the Christian is to a much higher standard. May we always focus on what is pleasing to God and strive to respond to those around us as Jesus would respond. Have a great week!
By Jim Mithcell
1 “Most Approval-Seekers probably would endorse conditional beliefs such as “People will accept me, if they approve of me or admire me,” “I’m worthwhile if other people give me approval,” or “If I can get people to admire me, they will pay attention to me.” They live under this contingency: In order to feel good about themselves, they have to gain approval or recognition from others. Thus, these patients are frequently dependent on other people’s approval for their self-esteem.” Jeffrey E. Young, Janet S. Klosko, Marjorie E. Weishaar. Schema Therapy: A Practitioner’s Guide (NY, NY: Guilford Press, 2003) 253.